What we never knew [original poem]

Original Mother’s Day poem written for my dear mom, Dorothy, my grandmother and all the mother figures in my life. Thank you moms!

What we never knew - by Joanna Sim

Tiger moms have quite the reputation,
but let’s try not to make any assumptions.
It’s not just tough love — here’s the deal. 
Let’s start with the simple chinese meal
to show us what we never knew 

A Chinese mom’s love starts in the kitchen.
Rejuvenating broth double boiled for ten hours…
Beef steak massaged tenderly by hand, at least a hundred times no less! 
And hand-cut noodles for good luck—- long noodles for long life.
Cookies ain’t a thing here, but dumplings are. 
They do this every day - as long they know we’ll be home for dinner.
And if not, they’ll skip that chance and hope for another. 
Oh what we never knew.

Tough love is a little bit misunderstood.
Sure it’s about discipline, hard work and resilience
But at the root of it, it comes from hope.
That we could have it better than they had to cope.
So *they* tough it out and slog through the days. 
Some of it even in unspeakable ways.
Just so that we would have the chance
In a very expensive so-called promised land. 
Oh what we never knew.

Chinese moms like to talk to one another.
Networking with neighbors for a job for my brother
and asking handsome shopkeepers if they would date their daughter!
So embarrassing, I said, Mom, please stop the chatter!
But why? She said, Chinese people help one another!
So I let her be my LinkedIn networker, 
errand-runner and problem solver. 
Because that’s the way she likes to mother.
Oh what we never knew. 

My mom is a Grandma now and here’s the thing:
She lives with us and my two little dumplings.
Eight and six, they’re not yet on auto-pilot. 
So Grandma leans in to to help us co-pilot.
That means everything I said before
… and oh my gosh, so much more.
Playing uno and checkers a hundred times over 
and painting unicorns, alacorns, and all mythical creatures.
Special shout out to my mother-in-law 
who has tutored my nieces since they were four!
Nobody’s retired, let’s be brutally honest. 
Because it’s their nature to put us first.
Oh what we never knew. 

When I was six, she got me a little gift.
We were sitting in the car while I played with it.
Along the way we picked up my cousin, June. 
And then she made me give it to her pretty soon.
I was mad, upset and wanted to throw a tantrum.
Mom looked at me begging me to be patient.
When we got home she reminded me to think for others: 
“You’ll always have me, but June doesn’t have a mother”
She’s right - I will always have her, and still do.
The mom that never stops asking “What can I do?”.
Oh what we never knew.